赌场幽默笑话系列 拉斯维加斯赌场笑话

　　一个在拉斯维加斯赌博现场很受欢迎的人物去世，他的许多赌友前往他的葬礼。当传教士来没完没了地说着死者如何如何是一个好的家庭成员、朋友和社会成员，他要求在场的人，不要以为死者已经死了，而只是在睡觉。一个在后面的赌友听众听了说道，“我用一百块钱和你赌他已经死了。”

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　　晚餐时，有人问法国巴黎拉斯维加斯赌场的餐厅服务员：“法国菜（dish也是餐具的意思）与美国菜相比怎么样？”

　　服务员：“哦，它们都很容易碎。”

　　*****

　　一位商人在拉斯维加斯一个赌场留下5000美元的借据后离开。他忘记了这个借据，直到有一天，他的秘书在电话里告诉他。

　　“是吗？” 商人说。

　　“外面有一个人想见你，说你在赌场欠了他的钱。”秘书说。“他不告诉我他的名字。”

　　“那他看起来是什么样的（look like长什么样）？” 商人问。

　　“他看起来的样子是你一定要还他钱。”秘书说。

　　*****

　　在拉斯维加斯大道上的弗拉明戈赌场一个英国游客被老虎机的商家告知，赌场的历史悠久可以追溯到臭名昭著的西西格尔那时候。

　　“真的吗？” 游客问。“赌场有什么不好吗？”

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　　一个缅因州人，因为厌倦了寒冷的冬天而搬到了拉斯维加斯。一天，有人问他：“你不介意夏天的烈日吗？”

　　“不会，”那人说。“因为不用去铲它。”

　　*****

　　一个德克萨斯人在老虎机输了很多钱，对老虎机主说，“如果这台机器是一匹马，它早被枪毙了。”

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　　拉斯维加斯的汽车旅馆房间提供的出租电影的电影评级出现在电视上：

　　G（普通级）：好男孩得到女孩。

　　R（未成年家长陪同下观看）：坏男孩得到了女孩。

　　X（未成年禁止观看）：每个人都得到女孩。

　　*****

　　译文：

　　umber of his gambling friends turned out for the funeral. As the preacher went on about how the deceased was a good family man, friend, and member of the community, he asked those present not to think of the deceased as dead, but just sleeping. A gambler friend in the back of the congregation was overheard to say, " I have a hundred that says he's dead."

　　* * * * *

　　Diner to a French waiter in a restaurant of the Paris-Las Vegas casino: "How do French dishes compare with the American ones?"

　　Waiter: "Oh, they break just as easily."

　　* * * * *

　　A businessman returned from Las Vegas after leaving $5000 in markers in one casino. He ignored the markers until one day his secretary buzzed him on the intercom.

　　"Yes?" said the businessman.

　　"There's a man out here who wants to see you about some money you owe his casino," said the secretary. "He didn't give me his name."

　　"What does he look like?" asked the businessman.

　　"He looks like you better pay him," said the secretary.

　　* * * * *

　　An English tourist in the Flamingo Casino on the Las Vegas Strip was told by a slot host that the casino goes back to the notorious Bugsy Siegel.

　　"Really?" asked the tourist. "What's wrong with it?"

　　* * * * *

　　A man from Maine, tired of the cold winters, moved to Las Vegas. One day he was asked, "Don't you mind the hot sun in the summertime?"

　　"No," said the man. "You don't have to shovel it."

　　* * * * *

　　A Texan, losing heavily on a slot machine, said to a slot host, "If this machine was a horse, it would have to be shot."

　　* * * * *

　　The following movie rating appeared on a TV set in a Las Vegas motel room that offered rental movies:

　　G: The good boy gets the girl.

　　R: The bad boy gets the girl.

　　X: Everyone gets the girl.